Goldilocks

October 20, 2012 - 4 Responses

As a writer I’ve been fumbling around trying to find the right “fit”.   I used to write just for me and then when my son was young I wrote a column for a local parenting magazine, but after a few years that lost it’s luster. I started back writing by taking writing courses :  fiction,  memoir,  word craft, creative non-fiction- hoping that one of these classes would create the “spark” .   I’ve joined a writing group that meets monthly as a support, workshop and sounding board with other struggling writers.   I’ve completed all class assignments, and pushed myself to produce something for the group each month, but I  just couldn’t shake that lost feeling- that squinchy face, head shaking – “no, that’s not it either”- reaction to most of what I’d been working on. 

 For several months I diligently worked on a fiction novel, but it kept coming out too cartoonish; I could create characters, even dialogue but had a hard time putting the plot into action.  My memoir start-ups were an awkward cross between boring and TMI. And I wasted a great deal of time and money on the ultimate procrastination vehicle- reading too many books on “how to” write.   

So I’ve been a writing wanderer, whining to my writing group, amassing an impressive transcript of writing courses, and compiling tons of half written “stuff”.  

Alas- I’m seeing a light –  a tiny, but slowly widening light down a dark tunnel, and miraculously as  I walk toward it, it  feels more and more “ok”.   Blogging is helping me clarify, solidy and quantify what and how I want to write. 

My interests are varied:  As a middle-aged, single mom of a teenage son, who runs three times a week as a member of a women’s running group, meditates daily, pays the bills as a project manager of a large delinquency contract, I’m grounded professionally and personally in personal development, but I’m lit up by outrageous humor, cynical politics, zombie movies, and big chocolate chip cookies.

Blogging seems to be the place -the soft,comfortable bed where I can stretch out and explore, rant and rave, maybe cry and laugh and most importantly connect to others !

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WHAT?! I HAVE TO POST ON MY BLOG!!!

October 7, 2012 - 4 Responses

So- I’m taking a class on blogging because I’ve been struggling with my writing -finding my voice and a format for it that feels right.  And maybe, just maybe,blogging is the ticket, but now the instructor has issued the diabolical assignment to actually post something on said blog.   And I hit the same wall I’ve been hitting for the past several months …..

I’m scared.

I’m terrified of revealing myself.

What I know for sure is that writing is about expressing the truth, the real truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

AND  truth be told-my voice, my writing is truthful and personal and I don’t want anyone to see that/it/me.  Yet , I’m compelled to write.  I LOVE words and finding the right ones to string together to convey exactly, precisely what I want to express. Writing for me is a soulful,  exhilarating, high-flying act—  without a net.  

So here it is– my first, official blog post!

 I wrote through the fear.

I wrote my truth.