Befriending Fear and Worry

Fear and Worry

I would like to introduce to you– my two, best buddies: Fear and Worry. Ever since I learned that my current job would be ending in the coming months, they are my constant companions. And they are loyal friends. They are present in my dreams as I sleep, and while awake, they feed their own existence by predicting the future or digging up examples from the past.

Most of all, these friends are great storytellers. They make Stephan King look like Mother Goose. What they lack in creativity- (ALWAYS the same ending: Me, under a bridge sleeping in a wet cardboard appliance box)
— they make up for in special effects, catastrophes that rival the technical ability of “CGI”, but with the classical touches of Dickens.

There is no banishing these threatening bullies. This is their legitimate real estate. I am losing my visible means of income and that is without a doubt fertile land for Fear and Worry to stake out their territory.  So for me it’s really a matter of getting along with my rowdy, loud neighbors.  No use in fighting them.  They are NOT going to turn down the music or pick up their dog’s poop from my front lawn. Fighting them will only intensify negativity, and actually distract me. If my past is of any use it will evidence that all previous decisions made with Fear and Worry as the guiding force- have turned out to be (to put in mildly) not in my general best interest.

I have invited them to sit beside me now as I meditate. I visualize them each sitting close on either side of me, I drape my arms around their shoulders as they alternate turning toward me snarling, baring their pointed, sharp, large teeth. They even attempt to intimidate further by snapping those teeth at my hand dangling off their shoulders, or they lean in inches from my face and slowly contract their quivering lips to highlight a menacing smile.

scarey

And I breathe deep.

I feel the tension and the release. Fear contracts, Presence releases, Worry pauses, Exhaling moves me on. If any one of them solely is allowed to reign it could (and has) paralyzed me, but when we are united- sitting together, when allowed their rightful turns, we are conjoined and our offspring is born: Possibility. The neighborhood is expansive.
Fear chants, “What will I do?” Worry asks, “What’s next?” Possibility responds, “What is there yet to be?” and Presence recites, “Now”.

Joined we create the electricity of aliveness which provides the energy for me to move, to take the next step, to be alert to and then sort through possible options, reach out and communicate with others ( flesh and blood friends), breathe, wait, move, repeat.
I am fully in my life, my scary real life.
It’s a neighborhood block party – talk about increasing property values!

large baloon floating

                                                                                                                                                                     

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2 Responses

  1. The image with the black balloons at the end is v powerful and vividly symbolic. Great post.

  2. Maureen- thank you for alllllllllllll for help- you are a wonderful editor and a GREAT writer!

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